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Mary Banelow
High praise
Jun 17, 2013 11:18 PM
You are 23 and I am not. You are handsome and I am not. You are strong and I am not. You are pretty and I am not. You are blonde and I am not. You are Kevin and I am not. You are a stuff guy and I am not. You are funny and I am not. You are inspiring and I am not. You are transcendant and I am not. You are luscious and I am not. You are lucky and I am not. You are skilled at elephant polo and I am not. You are a large and I am not. You are perfect and I am not. You are forever and always my love, my one and only, my savior, my cuddle bunny, and I am not.
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Leah Samson
High praise
Jun 17, 2013 10:10 PM
Kevin wins every game we play ever. The one exception was Settlers of Catan and that was a fluke. I'm so proud of everything he's become, and that he wears real person pants. Kevin is the best brother ever! Go somewhere where there's cheese.
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Don'tPraiseMeBro
High praise
Jun 17, 2013 10:01 PM
KEVIN IT'S FINALLY YOUR BIRTHDAY!!!!!! YOU'RE SO DESERVING OF ALL THIS PRAISE, I'M GREEN WITH ENVY BECAUSE I COULD NEVER RECEIVE SO MUCH PRAISE!!!!!!!!
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Lauren Samson
High praise
Jun 17, 2013 11:32 AM
Kevo-
The day you officially became my big brother was a very good day. From your love of sweatpants, to your uncanny likeness to harry potter, to your willingness to eat everything I can't finish, I can't imagine life without you as my big bro. You make every family gathering worth coming to. I miss you so much now that you don't live closer, and I'm making you visit UMass again this semester!! Thanks for being an amazing brother and friend, and I love you!
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Courtney Morrissey
High praise
Jun 16, 2013 11:43 PM
Kevin came into glory on the back of my wings. Ever since he was little I have taught him not to wear sweatpants on the beach and that everything is better with jalapeƱos. We help each other; I can eat half a burrito and decide I don't want it and carry it in my bag all day, and when I see him that night I will present it and he will eagerly finish it. He has sent me about 7 emails with his bank account number because I always forget. Our favorite game growing up was "Mr. Clumsy" where he would pretend his legs were made of rubber and I would easily evade his capture. He had a really dumb hat called a Seattle Sombrero. He is the whitest person I know, yet somehow he can quote the most Jay-Z. When we are at home he always eats what I eat, with a ten-minute delay. He can do an impression of each dog we've owned. I've shared a futon with him and our 100 lb English Shepherd. He wears his dress shoes hiking. He frequently initiates video games to diffuse family tension. He wore our father's wedding suit on hist first day of work. He's the best guy I know, and I love him very much!
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Lindso
High praise
Jun 11, 2013 07:38 PM
My dearest Kevo! I hope you have a wonderful day and I can't wait to come visit you in DCizzle this summer! If I were there with you now, the birthday gift I'd like to give you is a sip of water that I would drink from the nearest water fountain and then spit into your mouth.
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like my 'stache ?
High praise
Jun 08, 2013 09:11 PM
My name is Ari Plaut and I have a confession to make. I......love you. I've.....always loved you. Now that you clearly have other fans, I feel like I can have the courage to tell you how I really feel. And tell the world how I really feel. It's been brewing inside me for so long. For years, we've slept in the same room. My alarm would blare each morning, I'd wake up, and I'd see you there. Lying in your bed. Your hair softly covers your eyelids and you would lie there. Sleeping. Just you and me. But I would move on. I'd continue....alone. I'd wash my hair. Brush my teeth. Go to class. Hang out with my girlfriend. When all I ever really wanted was you....kevo. Kevin Morrissey. Kevin James Morrissey. My kevo. Campus Cutie. MY....Kevo. Lots of love. Forever. You will always be my Kevo. I will never, really truly, let go. All of my love. Forever. Yours Truly, Ari Plaut.
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Ari Plaut
High praise
Jun 08, 2013 04:29 PM
I was hiding under the porch because I LOVE YOU! Can I stay?
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KEVOOOOOOO KEVOOOOOOO
High praise
Jun 08, 2013 04:07 PM
KEVIN MORRISSEY's BIO (an alternative version):
Kevin wasn't conceived per se. He simply is, was, and will be Kevin Morrissey. It's been this way since he first arrived on planet earth via camel wearing yellow gym shorts. He truly was a miraculous child and an even more miraculous pre-teen, because he never really went through puberty. He sung the abcs in his sleep, he could count the molecules in his peanut butter and jelly sandwich without scientific equipment. He could communicate with his pet snail, George, who was later purchased by Kanye West and credited for 73 percent of the lyrics on his first album. Kevin continued to cultivate groundbreaking-ly critical creative relationships, and, in order to land his first record deal, slept INSIDE Lady Gaga's piano for three months straight. She ultimately helped him write and record an album of lullabies about alien suffering that went multi platinum in Australia. While it remains relatively unknown in South America, it has garnered a cult-like following in India and within a concentrated area of Cambridge, MA known as the Fortress. Ironically, the album won BEST POP COMPILATION at the Grammys, even though it uses chord progressions and vocal stylings derived from the late 1700s. He later went on to live a solitary life in Panama, much to the dismay of his growing fan base. However, he quickly met and befriended Nicholas Cage (on location for a GQ photo shoot), who convinced him to abandon his corn muffin crop, and who offered him a role in his widely acclaimed film: National Treasure 3. His role, 'Janitor 2' truly gave Kevin an opportunity to shine, and he was later awarded an Oscar for BEST SUPPORTING ROLE. Vaulted to new level of fame and fortune, Kevin was dubbed "the next Justin Timberlake" by Newsweek magazine and became a staple story in gossip mags all over the world. He continued to star in Nicolas Cage films, but also created his own genre: Bollywood-Zombie for which he was recognized in Obama's third inaugural speech. Kevin continues to reside in a suburb southwest of Kentucky with his wife and five children.
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KEVOOOOOOO KEVOOOOOOO
High praise
Jun 08, 2013 03:10 PM
RIP SH** MOBILE.
MANY FOND MEMS.
IT WAS TOWED AWAY BY A STRANGE MAN IN ORANGE PANTS. I WAS NEVER THE SAME AGAIN.
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